Let Your will be done.

Seriously,  is this it?

God, are you really calling me for this?

It's so different from what I expected.

When I said "use me" I never dreamt that it will be this.

I thought You would use me in the children ministry...  I thought You would use me in the youth ministry or music ministry.

In 2001, You said through a pastor that I'll be use to raise up a generation that will be on fire for you. I listened. I remembered but I never take it into my heart.

Yes,  You showed me the sign. It was the same thing. Not once,  not twice but 3 times.

Every time it happens.... I can feel Your presence in my life. I can heard Your still small voice telling me what to do.

Each time it happens,  it shatters my heart into a million pieces. I was lost,  I was heartbroken. My tears flow.

God, it's so hard to face it again and again. It hurts to heard it again and again. It's painful to know, to understand.

God,  is this really Your calling in my life.

If it is, let Your will be done. I'll surrender to Your will.

I accept Your love,  peace,  joy,  wisdom, kindness, patience and grace in my life.

I know You will be there to lead and guide me.